This morning, I was hungry. I decided to once again tempt fate.

I walked past Bruegger’s and noticed a short line, so I decided to go in. It’s Thursday, and time for something different. I decided to go for the Rio Grande Wrap: a delicious spicy wrap featuring eggs, meat of my choice, jalepeno cream cheese and roasted red peppers. I’ve noticed this is a more popular breakfast sandwich (one of the five!) than the Denver, so I thought my odds of getting it were good.

As I stepped toward the counter, a friendly woman with the words “General Manager” under her name greeted me and asked me what I’d like. Huzzah! How could the Theo Epstein of bagel bakeries screw up my order? Today was going to be a good breakfast day.

When I ordered the Rio Grande Wrap with sausage, our GM quickly got my tortilla, eggs, and sausage and then dropped the bomb. “What else goes in this?” she asked! I wished I hadn’t taken my headphones off since my brain nearly exploded out of my ears! Okay, okay I thought. She’s the GM. Probably not on sandwich duty most mornings. I’m sure Theo Epstein wouldn’t know what pitch Beckett should throw against Longoria at any given time- that’s why you delegate. I was about to forgive the GM who was willing to get her hands dirty and fail at making a five ingredient sandwich. I was even willing to forgive the extremely poor wrapping method she employed as well as forgetting to cut the damn thing in half.

Then, the aftershock.

Our friendly GM grabbed the red pencil that is used to write the initials for the name of the sandwich wrapped within. She repeated “Rio Grande,” and I nodded. She wrote an R. Then she said “What are the initials for the Rio Grande Wrap?” out loud. I prayed that there was some other sandwich with the initials RG. How could it be the case that the general manager can’t spell Grande. It’s not like it even begins with a silent letter! There must be a convoluted initialing system to describe this sandwich.

As she consulted with another employee, the underling confirmed that the abbreviation for Rio Grande was RG and that about sealed it for me. I am still in shock. A general manager can’t be that incompetent; what would they be able to manage? I thought by now, 14 hours later I’d be able to describe my complete shock in words, but I just can’t. It is time to find a new breakfast sandwich restaurant, and that is it.